The Blood Boils

I get angry when things don’t go my way.

I get angry when I see something could be done better.

I get angry when I get cut off by a faster driver.

Anger is such an easy thing to accomplish with simple incentives.

But as I have been meditating the past 3 weeks, I found anger is something that can come up but doesn’t have to stay longer than I want to keep.

With Da Boy’s final exams coming up in about a week, there is anger and frustration in how he is progressing with his studies.I believe that he can be doing so much more than he is doing now

I believe that he can be doing so much more than he is doing now. However, I know he is going through a lot of things with his life. He wants to have fun with his friends. He wants to play games. He wants to listen to music.

I understand where he’s coming from since I wasn’t that much different than him.

But I think, “I know he wants to rest and play, but he has all these exams to do! Can’t he just realize that he has to get ready for these subjects? Can’t he just lay off the pleasure of socializing and realize the potential pain of poor scores on his tests that could affect his future?”I think about how I went through these times.

I think about how I went through these times. And I know that I wasn’t that much better than him.

The struggle to get Da Boy to do his work will go on beyond the finals. I know that the motivation to do the work has to come from within.

It makes me sad to bump heads with him. I know I need to do a better job to guide him, to find that mechanism to push forward on his own and be successful with whatever he does.

I also have to deal with problem inside. The journey to keep finding how to get the work done for the day and know that the challenge will still be daunting the next day.

I know I have to be in the present and then work through the steps. With Da Boy, to hope he realizes what’s going on in the present and work through the steps.

The process makes the blood boil. But that too is necessary to find the way.

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