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Life

Feeling Totally Lost

The weekend wasn’t so busy, but I felt like I was pulled into a thousand different places for a couple of days.

For a moment, after meeting with an old friend/mentor on Saturday for lunch, my mind was filled with hope and ideas and dreams.

Coming home, I went crashing down, sleeping, do little work, watching YouTube videos about Japan.

I missed several days of writing. I’m not feeling it now, but I know I’ll feel guilty and regretful for not writing in those days.

Maybe I’ll catch up? I’m not betting on that. But I won’t say never.

Teaching And Writing

When I’m lost and dazed, I have several things that snap be back into where I need to be.

One is teaching. When I arrive on the Monday afternoon at the English Institute, My mind sends subtle to strong messages to my brain and body I have to get ready for my classes.

I’m thankful for having such a job like this, where my attention is needed, demanded to help students to the best of my ability to learn English.

The hours spent being with young kids to teenagers is appreciative and challenging. I’m glad to be where I am and could do this day after day.

The other is writing. As I plunk down my thoughts into the keys and seeing them on the screen or jotting them down into a notepad or diary, there is a miracle of creation. My brain fires off neurons and dendrites and makes connections that are needed to get down these thoughts.

Even as I read the words I read, I feel a kind of awe. This is amazing. The gratitude I feel that I have this time to do so is quite something.

The only discomfort I feel at this time is my gut, slightly sticking out. I reminded myself not to eat late night snacks, again.

Yes, it’s good to be where I am. The next few days will be interesting as I’m going to see some people I have seen in years. I hope something good comes out of them.

Notes And Arrghs

  • One of the things I don’t like is unchecked anger. And I had a bout of that with Da Boy, who took his time to get ready for his math academy. I should know better to explode, but I hated his laid-back attitude with minutes left before his bus arrives. Still, I should’ve handled that better and to do that requires me to help him get ready sooner and be more mindful in that situation.
  • Being mindful is such a big deal. I think we need to be wherever we are as much as we can.
  • If we don’t want to be there, we should find the best way possible to walk. I’m thinking on my feet right now, so my thought process could change when I read this again.
  • But my stance is to be there now or don’t be there at all.
  • If you’re wrong, be quick to admit it. Learn from the mistakes through writing and reflection. Do your best to do the right thing.

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