The Costs of Life

Today I earned money, opportunities.

Today I paid money, opportunities.

It happens everyday.

Today was a bit bigger than usual.

Some of the costs were so big that other opportunities were shut.

I did get angry.

I did point the fingers and blamed.

The truth of the matter is, the pointing should be drawn towards me.

It’s my fault; the actions I have committed or not committed created these results.

I’m feeling tremendous pressure to not write.

Writing a post is like a fool’s errand. I’m not going around cleaning the house.

I’m bearing the shame to write. I know I got to do this.

What real gain is there? Then I hear laughter. This work is ludicrous.

Yet I still go at it.

It’s days like this where I feel like I’m in a dark tunnel.

Should I go forward or back? If I’m going back, I have move my body backwards.

Neck tension.

Breathe.

Sadness.

Breathe.

I feel I need to shout!

Breathe.

Follow the breath.

Follow the breath.

I left my power cords in another district.

Breathe.

I can’t get it back until 2 days later.

Breathe.

Da Missus says we gotta do this or else.

Breathe.

Breathe.

The family around me needs my attention.

Breathe.

Breathe.

And go.

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