I thought my goal of being an animator were dashed. I tried to find meaning to my failure.

At 23, I was scared because school was done.

What I didn’t know at that time was that my learning had just begun.

During those days, I listened to whatever tapes I bought. I tried to find things that would inspire me into a new direction. I remember one lady who mentioned about a plastic surgeon named Maxwell Maltz. He made a book called Phycho-Cybernetics.

This was the start of my self-discovery.

What I remember from this small book was nothing short of amazing at that time. I learned that I was a person who drove the machine, which was my body. If I continued to changed myself for at least 21 days, I could make changes that would improve my life.

Now I know that changes within me depended on my dedication and motivation. Some changes I made took much sooner than 21 days.

Some harder changes I wanted to make are still ongoing today.

Becoming a better person is a constant evolution. The changes I made in my youth are much different from I am now. I wished that I could reach that destination, that destiny.

I didn’t know that I would be on a journey until life is done.

There is comfort knowing that if I’m moving toward the things I care about, such as life, happiness, and learning, I will continue to do well.

To be blunt, money matters much to me. That will help me to care for my family. That will help me get the tools and resources that could get me more life, happiness and learning.

Hearing this from the podcast I heard this morning from James Altucher and Jim Kwik, I agreed with the words mentioned from them.

I feel rather confused and clumsy since it’s been a long time since my last post. The only way for me to get over it is to revise this post and continue writing the next day.

I feel embarrassed, yet inspired by what I heard.

Listening to podcasts and blogs have been my way to climb out from the dark hole I see myself in.

While I’m not taking drugs or drinking mass amounts of alcohol, I have my own vices that trap me from growing into the person I want to be.

I do want to be much than what I am now. I don’t see a limit to what I can be.

My Dad showed me a Korean article that showed a man who sold his game for billions of Won. He thinks I can do that.

I remember wondering if I can do such things. Before I concluded that such things are not in my best interested, I stopped myself.

Why am I limiting what I can and cannot do?

I would rather believe what Dad told me. At least I could use those funds to take care of my loved ones and help others.

So screw these limitations I have.

I would choose myself in all the decisions I make.

I will help others and show as much kindness as I could and more.

To make the decision to write and draw because it’s fun I love them since my youth.