Letting Go Without a Choice

When I came to Korea all these years, there was one decision I had to make, a choice that was little under my control.

At that time, I was financially treading water but not good enough to travel at will. The reason to travel wasn’t really strong enough as well.

I get the call from my dad. He told me he had to move from his house because he couldn’t afford the expenses of paying a mortgage of thousands of dollars each month. I had all of my stuff in his garage and basement. He asked me what to do with it since he can’t store any of it in his new place, which was an apartment. He asked me if I can come and get this stuff organized, or he would trash it.

I had little choice but to say, “I can’t come over because I don’t have the time and money to take care it, dad. If you have to trash it all, then do so.”

And he did. I’m thankful that he somehow got rid of the stuff I owned for the first half of my life, my Canadian life.

There was a little sadness and loss with that decision being made. I’m not sure if I could’ve done it if I was there. I was a horrible pack rat.

I lost books, files, photos, magazines. It may not been much, but when I think about them, I can remember the times and dates I’ve done with them.

A Little Clean up in Korea

Da Missus wanted to clean up the dust under the mattress of the big room. As soon as I lifted it up, months of dust, gunk, and stuff that fell between the cracks saw the fluorescent lights.

Then Da Missus proceeded to go the drawers of our early past. Old bank accounts, VHS tapes, old bills, our wedding invitation.

She proceeded to trash them all.

The stuff was a lot less, but I couldn’t get through some of the decisions. I did make the decision to get rid of the VHS tapes.

We have too much stuff: clothes, books, whatever. I think I personally use less than 2% of the stuff at home.

I don’t know why we live like this. Da Missus and I have a pack rat mentally for various of reasons. I think it was good for her to let go of a past that’s over a decade.

It’s refreshing and painful.

Notes And Arrghs

• If you have read this far, my humble thanks. Please leave a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.
• Living over 4 decades, I feel regret in many areas. Writing them down in these posts is kindling thoughts of change. Hopefully for the better.
• Whether I feel like it or not, I really need to write, draw, and express, even though the result will likely be crap. I remember one evening, writing a post, I fought with myself word after word. I feel the same when I see a blank sheet of paper before I attempt to put down a single stroke. I think all people need to be able to express and share. Everyone person has something to contribute.