What can I do when I rise early and waste the minutes?

Then it was time for me to go to the English institute. I had to attend a meeting related to that.

The time goes quickly. I regret how I missed the opportunity to do the work when I was able.

But life goes on. I actively seek for the open time to write. Desperately.

Then the window opens. And I have tech problems. I couldn’t login into the website. I can easily blame the servers.

Whatever. I know it’s pointless. I decide to show patience. In a few minutes I can get in and start writing. And that’s what happened.

So Now What?

I won’t lie. It was a full day of work, here and there. The night has come. In a few minutes, a gathering of the teachers and managers of the English Institute.

It’ll be festive and weary. I had to get through some tough patches the past couple of weeks. I still have some problems that weigh heavy on my head and will do so for the weeks to come.

But now, I tell myself, it’s God’s way of challenging me to grow. Before being struck down, I had it relatively easy. I was too comfortable. I didn’t want to get out of the comfort zone.

When you do that, you will have a very hard time when the shit hits the fan.

I don’t want to downplay it. I want to have the courage to face it and go at it. It’s messy. It’s painful. It’s stressful.

Yet, this is a path of growth I haven’t seen in for months.

Get away from the excuses. Fall away from the warmth, the softness of the warm blankets.

Pound into the icy black mud. Slip through the muck and feel the misery. Smile when you have to smile while the howling freezing winds blow.

Keep walking, a step at a time. Savor the tension, the fear, the dark, deep night.

Notes And Arrghs

• Really not that much time today!
• But the morning was not so bad. I slept going back and forth to a meeting across town and back.
• I had good energy in the afternoon. I tried to give 100% into each class I taught. I was so eager for the students to understand the conversations in listening class.
• Whatever may come, I will face it and deal with it.
• And I will write, whether it’s the morning, this time, or 11pm.