Today, I experienced a glorious morning. It was followed by utter crap that I deserved.
It hurt like hell. And I deserved it.
My response was silently awful. I sighed deeply. And I knew I deserved the words written.
I kept these words inside and they infested my mind and nerves. They spoiled the morning.
I need to reply to it. Later, I’ll meet my brother and he may help me with a few things.
The Lessons from the Pain
I know there are things I can learn from this. What does this mean? What do the words I read that morning mean? What does it mean for me to do?
My response was that I was an idiot. I should’ve not done what I did to reach this point in life.
It was another chip on my shoulder to burn the embers. To create emotions that will bring about actions to work toward the goals that are becoming clearer by the day.
I felt that people were laughing at me when I read those words. Those that ridiculed me, thought I was nothing.
Well, at least those figments of my imagination took the time shame me.
They were me. I was shaming myself.
So Damn Busy And Foolish
As soon as I got the English Institute, the rubber met the road and I had to go, go, go.
I made booklets. I taught classes. I thought about the next steps. I wanted to reply to the messages that kept coming after I sent New Year wishes.
I am truly grateful for the replies. Taking a few minutes to say something was meaningful. At the same time, I wished just one of them went out of their way to say it first.
The only thing I thought is that I choose these people that met in my life. And I may have chosen foolishly.
But I have to keep moving forward. Establish my goals. Take the steps forward.
I have fallen behind. But I will catch up. I have some serious work to do in the days, weeks, months to come.
Go ahead and laugh. I’m grateful you took the time to do that. I’ll add that to the whys I have to do what I have to do.
Notes And Arrghs
- Today hurt badly.
- Badly enough to write this post.
- I’ll keep telling myself I got change and massively act on them.
- Measure the steps.
- I’ll show those guys I’m more than that.