So we reach the end of 2018. For me, it’s about 3 hours and a half, give or take.

So what did I learn about this year? What big things has happened? Well, in no particular order…

Da Little One Graduates from Kindergarten, Entering Elementary School

It’s hard to believe that he finished two years of pre-school. The time went so fast. Those drives to his school 5 days a week. The struggles of him trying to get along with the kids, learning new things, slowly. Da Missus and I had moments where we thought things weren’t going to get better.

But they did.

He would end up with one of the toughest teachers in grade 1. Da Missus dreaded the phone calls from his teacher. They were usually of complaints and tons of dissatisfaction. If Da Missus could, she would’ve loved me to handle them, but I don’t speak Korean that well. I felt those moments when she winced with pain with the different issues.

But so many great memories. The transition. The trips. The little greetings from the stair window.

The Trip to the East Sea

On the spur of the moment in August during vacation time, we drove to the East Sea. We had a bigger car, so we drove in style. The first day was swimming the sea. The sunny afternoon. Eating fresh seafood at a large, multi-storey restaurant.

Sleeping at the hotel where the owner used to live in our neighborhood, so we got a special room with a slightly reduced rate. Checking out one of the local markets.

The Uncertainty

At the end of the year, I felt lost. Certain events that happened recently triggered fear, sadness, and blame.

First, it was others. But I knew where the blame was suppose to be.

Me.

I felt sorry for myself, my family. I mean, I didn’t live to my full potential. My 100%.

So I took advice from my Dad on some things and I’m reading articles and books. I have resolutions and goals and I’m… running out of time.

Notes And Arrghs

• It’s important to show gratitude and seeing the good as much as possible. I’ve been taking photos of something positive. It could be a photo of food. The scenery. My family. I set an alarm 3 times a day to make a point of it.
• Sticking post-it notes of my goals and inspiring quotes nearby for me to see often. I remember doing this a long time ago when I needed to finish some artwork for a client. When I was pretty down, Da Missus stuck them inside the closet, so when I went to get my socks, I saw the words of love and encouragement.
• Now I look to stick them in the mirror. Getting my self-talk fixed. Having goals also posted there. Learning to practice on the things I care about and doing the work.
• Allow myself to fail and fail often. Tell myself, I have to mess up to learn the lessons and improve upon them. Screw perfection! Screw the fear of falling. If I fall, I can rise again. And Again.