Emotional Shifts

I hear noises around the front. The time was 7:20. Da Missus had come home, staying over night to take care of Da Boy.

That morning at 9, Da Boy had surgery on his left wrist. There was a bulge sticking out and we wanted treated before he went back to school.

I was groggy. Home was a bit messy; the kitchen sink had unwashed dishes and the floor wasn’t mopped.

And I got an earful from Da Missus on how I didn’t do anything to tidy up.

I felt I deserved tongue lashing, but I was still waking up. I thought it was best to keep it quiet and put on my clothes. I had to go out and see Da Boy before he goes into operation.

The mood soured as she got more and more annoyed with me. Da Little One got up as well. The situation looked like it was going to melt down because I didn’t clean up.

And I blamed myself again for creating this situation.

I forgot that I’ll probably go to work after visiting Da Boy, so I took a shower.

And off I went, not a minute too soon.

At the hospital, I climbed the stairs to the 7th floor. In Room 706, I saw Da Boy and gave him a hug. We talked and waited for the operation together.

Da Boy was disappointed that Da Missus wasn’t here to see him before the operation. He made the call and showed his disdain. Da Missus pinned it on me for less the apartment a mess.

“Yes,” I thought. “It’s my fault.” But I felt worse and worse about it.

Around 9, a man came in with a movable hospital bed. Da Boy got on and we went to a elongated elevator. When we got down to the first floor basement, we headed to the operating room. I couldn’t go in. I had to wait 2 hours back in his room.

There I meditated and rested.

I wasn’t sure how much better I was going to feel, but I did feel better.

I think the mood lightened up with Da Boy back from the operation. His left hand was bandaged. He was groggy from the anesthetic. When he got back to his bed, we chatted a bit and he felt asleep.


My understanding of meditation has changed over the years. I thought it required you to sit in the lotus position, have your hands out on your knees, in silence.

Now I know (and am glad) that meditation comes in many, many forms and methods.

I don’t need to be in a completely silent room. The lotus position is one way to meditate. Being clear of thought isn’t necessary and is part of the meditation.

Being aware is important, like your surroundings, your body, your breath. Sometimes, it’s good to count the breaths. Other times, you may want to ask questions that doesn’t necessarily need answers.

I’m still learning about it and I do feel it is beneficial. I do make excuses of why I do not have 20-minute sessions.

And I know I don’t need 20-minute sessions to meditate. But still, I want to put in a full sessions to receive the benefits.

Meditation isn’t for everyone, but we need time to see our surroundings, our well-being, and how we breathe.

I’m definitely going to meditate every day, hopefully early in the morning. Apps I use is Headspace. But I think other apps are good as well. I can vouch for the Headspace app.

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